Another year over

Lots changes. Lots stayed the same.

Missing my sister a lot.

Missing my dad a little less each day. Which doesn't say much since I miss him almost as much as my sister right now.

Work has been up and down. lots of down, some up. Finally getting better.

Scouts is scouts. Busy, busy, but that never changes.

J and me are getting better, less fighting which is always a good thing.

Ya, nothing to report.

what the h3!!

Why can't people leave it alone! Drop it already! You are never going to agree, none of you know why the original comment was posted. You are all being idiots for not shutting up. Don't comment to the post. Let it die!!

tear in my coffee

why the hell can't I stop thinking that you are going to walk away from me forever? Is it because I see you do it with other friends? Is it becuase I know its true. That you would walk away rather then talk it out.
Can we cancel work today, please? I just need to go back to bed.

crying over spilled texting

Why the hell am I crying because you won't let me vent?

Why the hell do I care what you think anyway? You vent to me all the time. You tell me that I don't know my own kid, when your is all "shizal my swisal". My kid doesn't talk to boys for hours or worse make out with them. My kids haven't been divorced twice with 3 kids. (ok, by rights, they aren't old enough for those mistakes yet)

So I vented about texting shorthand in emails, get over it. Don't attack me for my opinion. Don't make me feel like shit becuase you think kids will be kids and we as adults shouldn't bother. Don't ignore me when I try to apologize for upsetting you.

Don't kill this friendship becuase you think you are the only one allowed to vent or have an opinion.

Just don't.

What is the point

No one is reading this anyway

just goes to show

does he even really care

does he get me at all

.....

Snow, snow everywhere, and way too cold to play with

It's around 30 below outside. Inside it's a nice 70 degrees... until you walk into a draft anyway. I love snow, I like the cold weather... but this is a little much... We don't even have a shovel to move the snow of the steps right now since J man broke ours last week. 5 day weekend from school isn't helping matters either.

Oh well... I didn't want to go out in the weather anyway... I like cold, not wind!

What happened to Christmas this year?

It really doesn't feel like the season this year. Even the candle light service at church felt off. Still feel the reason for the season. Still feel all lovey and all, but something is still missing. Maybe it's realizing that my 9 yr. old is losing the belief in Santa or that my sister is in the hospital hopefully not losing her baby. Eitehr way this season just doesn't seem quite right. The kids are healthy and happy, everyone got at least something they asked for. Maybe it's the upcoming nuptuals for J's aunt.. she's finally remarrying after 10 yrs. of being a widow... She won't have our last name anymore... Maybe it the fact that Ali is in Germany and no matter what I do there is nothing that I can do to help her or fix the problem. Maybe it's the fact that our friends J and C are fighting (again) and it makes for a hard time on us since they are our only real friends that both of us get along with.

Last night after work (at the church service) I heard "Where are you Christmas" on the radio... it made me think of my kids especially Ash... she's growing up so fast, she's not sure where she is and want to be a little kid and still run with the big kids... it made me think about me... and how this season just doesn't feel like the others... maybe it's because I'm back in church and remember what it's really all about... maybe it's because of my sister and worrying about her... maybe it's the extended family and all the BS they bring, although I'm very thankful that I only see them twice a year... Or maybe it's me... maybe I've changed.